God, I love you.
will you still be saying that after she opens the gates of bliss?
Yes sir. I've thought I was in love 4 times before. In all four cases I bedded the lasses within a week or two of meeting them. 3 of the four I was with for 5+ years before they dumped me. Milla and I started as friends, and though I quickly fell for her, I knew that for this perfect, purposefull, deliciously troubled woman to be more than my friend was impossible. It was completely outside my ability to conceptualize that one so pure, so strong, could ever want me as more than a friend. One night after we had been friends for about 7 months, spending 8-12 hours a day online together with narry a moment of silence, building the type of deep, mutually respectful friendship that I had only ever read about, she expressed a desire to get out of Laplan...er, Finland, and come to the U.S.. But alas, she said, I'd have to find some idiot to marry me.
"I'll marry you Milla," I said without hesitation.
"ha...but Bobs...I'm not really into sex and stuff."
"Mills...I don't care. I've had enough sex. I want to be your friend, and give you the escape you desire. I could care less if we ever even kiss, I just want to walk on the beach with you at sunrise, I want to hear you laugh. I want to protect you from harm and have the privilege of watching you grow into the incredible person I know you will be."
"You're nuts Bob...but very sweet. Thank you for the offer."
The moment passed. Milla went back to her bottle of Jaagermeister and I went back to my shell. But I think that's when she felt the first blush of possibility.
Over the next few months things changed for us. I'll be damned if we didn't start acting like there was a "B" and a "G" in front of our respective "F's". I occasionally teased her about marrying me, but she always laughed it off. One day I told my friend Todd that I as considering telling Milla that I loved her. He wisely, strenuously advised against it. I ignored him, and two days later I used the "L" word. Millas response was, I believe, "How is that possible, we've never even met?" I said I didn't know how it was possible, but that the feelings I had for her equated to love in my mind. A week or two passed. One day I said..."Mills..have I asked you to marry me recently?"
"I don't think so.."
"Will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me Milla?"
And then the universe did a hard reboot as she said,
"Ah....what the hell...yes"
"Yes?"
"Yes"
This is love McJagger. I'm in love for the first time. See...one thing you should know is that I was drunk from the time I was 18 to just past my 44th birthday. So, in many real ways I am as virginal as she. I've never been in love sober, nor made love sober. Milla and I will be together until we die, hopefully in true Vonnegut-esque style, within minutes of each other.
So..um...the answer to your question is, yes.
