I was at a party, lying stoned on a waterbed, when I realized that the two other people on the bed (male and female) were making the beast. I realized I needed to excuse myself. I found the door, but in the darkness and my stonedness couldn't locate the doorknob. Whereupon I uttered one of the greatest lines I've ever come up with: "This door doesn't work."
Never caught. Not yet, anyway.