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[Blasted]

(or dont have a weird AS personality that puts people off at the post)

I get attracted to Aspies 

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ive never done that put down stuff in real life seriously.  I always thought that was for guys more subtle than me.

LOL, subtle?  Teasing girls is a good thing and counts as part of flirting, telling them they look awful isn't.  If you came up to a girl and asked her if any of her clothes came from a charity shop (unless she's a girl who likes vintage things), you'd just get a slap. 

[Celticgoddess]

Teasing is great. Nothing wrong with that. I like a guy who gives me a run for my money because I'm sarcastic as hell. It's how you tease and what you're teasing about that is key. Condescending and insulting will you get your ass kicked out my door. Funny, witty, banter is entertaining and keeps me amused.

okay, boys and girls. Time for some required reading. Heartless Bitches is one of my favourite sites. Read and learn young grasshoppers.

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/nice2.shtml

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/redflaglist.shtml

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[Adam]

aspie guys are MUCH more likely not to know where to draw the line. i mean, that's a big part of having an ASD right? teasing might work great with flirting, but the majority of aspie guys would fuck that up majorly and just look like they're being downright insulting

this kinda thing is just a bad idea for aspie guys to try IMO

usually anyway. for more high functioning /borderline aspies, then ok give it a try and more power to you. but tbh i don't think proper aspie aspies should try this kinda dating stuff. it's just not gonna work.

[Celticgoddess]

women sleep with abusive men much more than they sleep with gentle aspies.  because they have more drive and motivation, more power, and their confidence makes them relaxing to be with.

I call bullshit.

Women sleep with abusive men because they have no self-esteem and no backbone and they're easy prey for dominant males. Gentle women can be a good match for gentle aspies. Confident, independent, outspoken women aren't generally a good match for gentle aspies, but they're good for more assertive independent knows his own mind and isn't afraid to speak it kind of aspie guys. But to speak your mind isn't an invitation to be a asshole.

[Adam]

you're always gonna be whoever you are, no matter how much you try and change
you can work on being more assertive, but you'll probably never turn into some really confident outgoing guy if that's not naturally how you are

i dunno for sure though obviously. if you put enough work in, thn maybe you can become the kinda guy you wanna be. but i think it's more realistic to just work on being a BIT more confident/assertive, while at the same time accepting that you'll probably never be the kinda guy that is really great with women

i don't mean that in an insulting way btw. i am the same. i don;t think i'll ever be seriously confident or good with women. all you can do really is to try and be a bit better

[Blasted]

I don't think you're a gentle Aspie man, I think you're an arse.

However, I don't see why "gentle, Aspie men" should feel the need to change into cocky, arrogant twats 

[Celticgoddess]

"Teasing is great. Nothing wrong with that. I like a guy who gives me a run for my money because I'm sarcastic as hell. "

"Funny, witty, banter is entertaining and keeps me amused."

but why do so many women refuse to admit it?  It would help the men on WP so much more if the women there were as honest as this.

I've said it on WP before. And I've bantered back and forth with guys over there for years.

Can a gentle aspie man become confident and outspoken, or is he doomed to stay how he is?  I've had short periods where ive been forceful and assertive and direct, but i could never make it last.

I think you're confusing assertive and direct with being an asshole. There's a huge difference. I've seen evidence of the asshole side of you, and then the side of you which seems more true to form that is more emotional and caring (evident in your response to LB after she posted all your relationship drama on WP). You can't be someone that you're not. The best way to be successful is to be the best version of yourself. If you try to be something/someon that you're not, you'll wear yourself down and it's exhausting to keep up a charade of somethng that doesn't feel natural to you.

I've always have a dominant personality, that's just my gig. Took me years to be able to feel comfortable enough with it though and be okay with it. But that's who I am. I tried to not be that way, married a gentle Aspie guy, and 10 years and a couple of kids later, it all went south. We separated and I said enough was enough. I spent a decade being someone I'm not. Now I'm living my truth and life becomes way easier when you live that way. I didn't have to go looking for the right type of personality in a guy and go after him and try and be someone/something I'm not to get him to notice/like me.  When you approach things like that, you have no truth to build things on and you're doomed.

[Blasted]

You think violent men are more normal?  Dude, you're fucked up.

[Celticgoddess]

Dude, you're taking on project chicks. They want you to "fix" them and their issues. That's half the issue right there.

Violent men = cowardly cockingsucking losers. That's not exciting or normal, it's fucked up. Been there done that, have the scars to prove it myself.   Thankfully, learned my lesson, got my ass iin years of therapy and fixed my own shit and didn't wait for someone else to do it for me.

[Celticgoddess]

okay, you're giving me a headache. That's fucked up thinking, Tom. 

[Adam]

Dude you're a fucking idiot

[Adam]

i don't believe you

[Adam]

there's a difference between getting mad about football and being violent

hell i feel like punching people in the face sometimes when i watch the football, i think most football fans can relate to that

but i've never actually been violent towards anyone