Unrequited love

[Mr Smith]

 

[Icequeen]

Distraction.

Seriously, work, a new hobby, take your pick and throw yourself into it.

The less time you have to think the better sometimes.

[SleepyDragon]

Possibly to remind yourself that had things gotten as far as the relationship stage, the initial rosy glow would soon pass, and the daily grind of reality would take over. What seems perfect at the start doesn't continue to be perfect indefinitely.

[P7PSP]

What SD and Icequeen said + time.

[Celticgoddess]

I agree with everyone above.

For me, each breakup has followed a similar pattern.The ugly cry for a few days  which includes lots of journaling and listening to music (I've got an excellent "boys suck" playlist ), a lot of long walks while plugged into my iPod, and then eventually the big emotions start to pass, I go back and forth rehashing everything in my head, and then I get to the point where I'm able to remind myself that things happen for a reason and there can be something better waiting ahead for me. So far, that last reminder has yet to prove me wrong. Each time something has ended with someone I care for, I've learned some big lessons and I've been able to take those lessons and apply them to my next relationship. I've found that as I go along, it keeps getting better. I'd like to think that I've got a good part of it figured out now (as in I don't make the same mistakes now that I did then) but it's always a learning process.

[Adam]

i suffer this too 

[Celticgoddess]

That's because she hasn't seen your tongue yet, Soph.

[Callaway]

I think distraction and keeping myself busy works well for me.

[El]

I agree with distraction and "boys suck" music.  Also spending a lot of time with platonic friends who have the patience to hear me talk endlessly about why the boy in question is particularly sucky.

(That, and going on an absolute dating site binge, but that's probably not healthy, lol.)

[Celticgoddess]

I agree with distraction and "boys suck" music.  Also spending a lot of time with platonic friends who have the patience to hear me talk endlessly about why the boy in question is particularly sucky.

(That, and going on an absolute dating site binge, but that's probably not healthy, lol.)

:lol:

Yeah my Mum was my main sounding board for breakups. The poor woman had to listen to be yabber on endlessly about the boy, the situations, he said/she said blahblahblah. She is incredibly patient but I think she's twice as relieved when I've finally worked it out in my head enough to start moving forward. She knows my pattern though so she can see me evolve through the stages and knows the end is near and there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel.

[Al Swearegen]

Whats the best way to move on from this? I'm at the point where I'm just letting the guy go regardless of the fact I still love him. It's not easy, but from here on in I need to do productive things to fill the void. What has worked for you people in the past?

Embrace how you feel. Accept your grief. Look at it in a balanced way. The good and the bad. Accept why it was not to be and don't try to fix it. Look to future and invest in the things that you put aside and that you loved prior to meeting them. Get into a routine doing what you used to enjoy. Don't badmouth him because it will stain not just the bad stuff but the good stuff too. Don't go on the market or be desperate to "fill the void" you will fail because no person can "slot into the void". Find ways to be content with you as a person.

Love yourself and you will have someone who will love you for what they see. Bide your time and the right person for you will come. This just was not it. Not your fault and don't beat yourself up over it. Bad things happen sometimes and life is not always fair. Be kind on yourself.

I am not the guy am I?

[Callaway]

I agree with distraction and "boys suck" music.  Also spending a lot of time with platonic friends who have the patience to hear me talk endlessly about why the boy in question is particularly sucky.

(That, and going on an absolute dating site binge, but that's probably not healthy, lol.)

:lol:

Yeah my Mum was my main sounding board for breakups. The poor woman had to listen to be yabber on endlessly about the boy, the situations, he said/she said blahblahblah. She is incredibly patient but I think she's twice as relieved when I've finally worked it out in my head enough to start moving forward. She knows my pattern though so she can see me evolve through the stages and knows the end is near and there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel.

My mother was mine, too.