I was extermely vocal in my son's schools (he went to 5 of them before I pulled him to homeschool). But it wasn't in a threatening way. My approach was alway "how we can we together as a team to help X be more successful?" That went over very well with the school/board. However, if there was a staff member who went too far, I had no issue tearing a strategic strip off of them and even got a principal fired for pinning my son down to the ground, on his stomach, and pinning his hands behind his back like he was being arrested. That's illegal to begin with because it's easy for a child to stop breathing. The reason for doing it? He was handflapping in the library. WTF? Or pulling him out from under a desk by his ankles where he was hiding because he was scared. he was in the second grade! Ridiculous. Went straight to the board and she was fired a month later.
As for the famliies, I just promoted myself. I've always been very open about our dx process, my son's experiences, what we struggle with etc. Word started to spread and people I knew were referring family and friends. Therapists were referring new patients. Sometime I juggle 20 families at a time. Due to all those connections, I started getting calls from teachers and professors asking me to come and speak. It sort of snowballed from there.