Then there would be me. I am the sickly elderly grand -something or other that you all are somehow related to but don't know exactly how. I am placed somewhere out the way of anything that could harm me and where you don't need to see me. You will feel me pulse occasionally to make sure I am alive and are comforted by the knowledge I have not spoiled this family occasion by dying and am likely asleep or perhaps in a coma. 
Good thing I'm CPR trained. I wonder if I should steal two shock paddles just in case
"Bump it up to 150. CLEAR"
*zzt*
No one is allowed to die on family holidays so we must resuscitate.
