Escape.
I'm surrounded by the clueless & delusional.
Overly social, perky soccer mom's that want me to join the PTA because they feel it might "bring me out of my shell". (I like my shell and I'm happy there, thank you very much, it keeps me sane and prevents me from choking people.)
The "my daughter is a cheerleader, makes straight A's, is sooo popular, and she's going to be a pediatrician when she gets older". (Don't let me burst your bubble and tell you I saw her making out behind my garage with the little klepto that lives up three houses.)
The "my husband is the bestest guy in the whole entire world, he would never *insert the vice of your choice here*". (De-Nile is a river in Egypt, please keep "Mr. Wonderful" on his chain and out of my yard, thank you.)
And lastly the elderly gossiping bible thumpers that want me to "find God". (where did I put that damn pepper spray anyways?)