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Author Topic: Questions for Callaway  (Read 117942 times)

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Offline Calandale

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1170 on: February 11, 2008, 08:57:05 PM »
Do you tend to have close female friends?

I have a few.  Why do you ask?

Just a suspicion about me.
That I get along better with
women who don't.

That is probably partly due to your NPD.  Women who are more isolated would be more likely to tolerate you.  Your wife was homeless when you met her, wasn't she?

One might think that. But my female friends all tended to
have a number of close male friends.

My wife was indeed. An ex-housemate of
hers was living with me, and had offered
to take her in - which is how we met.

Oddly, I think that although she claimed
to not have many female friends, her closest
friend before me was. The same with my first
gf. My PE had NO female friends whatsoever.

But, all had some fairly masculine traits. In terms
of dealing with people. Where I'm most comfortable
is with someone who simply doesn't take any shit
from anyone - including me. Odd as that might seem.

Offline Pyraxis

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1171 on: February 11, 2008, 10:03:21 PM »
Just a suspicion about me.
That I get along better with
women who don't.

That is probably partly due to your NPD.  Women who are more isolated would be more likely to tolerate you.  Your wife was homeless when you met her, wasn't she?

Damn, careful with bias, Callaway. I could take issue with any number of the things you're implying here.

That women who like Calandale are isolated (in a bad way).
That women only tolerate him because they can't get any better, not because they genuinely like some of his qualities.
That a woman who has few/no female friends is isolated, and doesn't simply prefer males.
That Calandale's wife (whom you don't know in the slightest) may fit any of the above categories.
That homelessness implies a personal deficiency.
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline Callaway

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1172 on: February 11, 2008, 10:18:01 PM »
Just a suspicion about me.
That I get along better with
women who don't.

That is probably partly due to your NPD.  Women who are more isolated would be more likely to tolerate you.  Your wife was homeless when you met her, wasn't she?

Damn, careful with bias, Callaway. I could take issue with any number of the things you're implying here.

That women who like Calandale are isolated (in a bad way).
That women only tolerate him because they can't get any better, not because they genuinely like some of his qualities.
That a woman who has few/no female friends is isolated, and doesn't simply prefer males.
That Calandale's wife (whom you don't know in the slightest) may fit any of the above categories.
That homelessness implies a personal deficiency.

Homelessness implied that she would prefer to live with Calandale than on the streets, nothing more. 

I said nothing about whether or not she had many female friends, but she did leave him in the end, so his bad qualities ultimately outweighed his good qualities, at least in her eyes.

I believe that narcissists in general tend to choose people who are more isolated, move in on them very quickly and isolate them even more, so a person who had few friends, male or female, would be more likely to be targeted by one.

Offline Tristeza

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1173 on: February 11, 2008, 10:23:07 PM »
Do you tend to have close female friends?

I have a few.  Why do you ask?

Just a suspicion about me.
That I get along better with
women who don't.

That is probably partly due to your NPD.  Women who are more isolated would be more likely to tolerate you.  Your wife was homeless when you met her, wasn't she?

One might think that. But my female friends all tended to
have a number of close male friends.

My wife was indeed. An ex-housemate of
hers was living with me, and had offered
to take her in - which is how we met.

Oddly, I think that although she claimed
to not have many female friends, her closest
friend before me was. The same with my first
gf. My PE had NO female friends whatsoever.

But, all had some fairly masculine traits. In terms
of dealing with people. Where I'm most comfortable
is with someone who simply doesn't take any shit
from anyone - including me. Odd as that might seem.
'Zat mean you're comfortable with me, Cal?   :zoinks:

I like Cal very much.  He's a lot of fun.  If he hadn't made the effort to pull me out of my so-called "shell" somewhat, I'd never have bothered hanging around here.  It's a nice forum, but Cal (along with Soph & Kosmo) is the main reason I'm here.

I've never been homeless.  Most of my friends are male.  I have two close female friends, one German and one Brazilian - strong personalities both.  I don't "take shit" from anyone - I was taught early in life that it didn't pay.  I've been described as a "lightning rod," and Cal also fits that description.  I enjoy interacting with him tremendously, and I think he adds a lot of life to this forum.  I have no problem with anyone here, but nor do I understand why other members have such a problem with Cal.

hats off to the man on top of the world
come crawl up here baby, and we can watch this damn thing turn

Offline Pyraxis

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1174 on: February 11, 2008, 10:25:01 PM »
Homelessness implied that she would prefer to live with Calandale than on the streets, nothing more. 

I said nothing about whether or not she had many female friends, but she did leave him in the end, so his bad qualities ultimately outweighed his good qualities, at least in her eyes.

I believe that narcissists in general tend to choose people who are more isolated, move in on them very quickly and isolate them even more, so a person who had few friends, male or female, would be more likely to be targeted by one.

I don't intend to get into a nitpick argument about what is and isn't implied. It ultimately boils down to intent, and I can't prove your intent one way or another. But to me, the character attack is clear as day.

It disturbs me not just because you dislike Calandale and I don't, but because of all the stereotypical social mores it reinforces.
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline Tristeza

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1175 on: February 11, 2008, 10:27:29 PM »
Believe it or not, some of us are actually strong enough to not take guys like Cal too seriously.   :laugh:
hats off to the man on top of the world
come crawl up here baby, and we can watch this damn thing turn

Offline Calandale

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1176 on: February 11, 2008, 10:36:59 PM »
Just a suspicion about me.
That I get along better with
women who don't.

That is probably partly due to your NPD.  Women who are more isolated would be more likely to tolerate you.  Your wife was homeless when you met her, wasn't she?

Damn, careful with bias, Callaway. I could take issue with any number of the things you're implying here.

That women who like Calandale are isolated (in a bad way).
That women only tolerate him because they can't get any better, not because they genuinely like some of his qualities.
That a woman who has few/no female friends is isolated, and doesn't simply prefer males.
That Calandale's wife (whom you don't know in the slightest) may fit any of the above categories.
That homelessness implies a personal deficiency.

This is how she fights. I am waiting for a more damning example again.
One where there actually is an unrelated issue to which she brings the
character assassination. I felt that this was actually a step up for her.

Offline Calandale

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1177 on: February 11, 2008, 10:39:56 PM »


Homelessness implied that she would prefer to live with Calandale than on the streets, nothing more. 

Not really the case. She had other places to stay. She just had no home.

Quote
I said nothing about whether or not she had many female friends, but she did leave him in the end, so his bad qualities ultimately outweighed his good qualities, at least in her eyes.

I don't think you'd have gotten an answer along those lines,
from her.

Quote
I believe that narcissists in general tend to choose people who are more isolated, move in on them very quickly and isolate them even more, so a person who had few friends, male or female, would be more likely to be targeted by one.

Again, your beliefs bely the truth. I always went out of
my way, especially at the beginning, to make certain that
we each had a great deal of freedom.

Offline Calandale

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1178 on: February 11, 2008, 10:40:59 PM »
Believe it or not, some of us are actually strong enough to not take guys like Cal too seriously.   :laugh:

Wish I could be so strong.  ;)

Offline Callaway

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1179 on: February 12, 2008, 12:07:57 AM »
Do you tend to have close female friends?

I have a few.  Why do you ask?

Just a suspicion about me.
That I get along better with
women who don't.

That is probably partly due to your NPD.  Women who are more isolated would be more likely to tolerate you.  Your wife was homeless when you met her, wasn't she?

One might think that. But my female friends all tended to
have a number of close male friends.

My wife was indeed. An ex-housemate of
hers was living with me, and had offered
to take her in - which is how we met.

Oddly, I think that although she claimed
to not have many female friends, her closest
friend before me was. The same with my first
gf. My PE had NO female friends whatsoever.

But, all had some fairly masculine traits. In terms
of dealing with people. Where I'm most comfortable
is with someone who simply doesn't take any shit
from anyone - including me. Odd as that might seem.
'Zat mean you're comfortable with me, Cal?   :zoinks:

I like Cal very much.  He's a lot of fun.  If he hadn't made the effort to pull me out of my so-called "shell" somewhat, I'd never have bothered hanging around here.  It's a nice forum, but Cal (along with Soph & Kosmo) is the main reason I'm here.

I've never been homeless.  Most of my friends are male.  I have two close female friends, one German and one Brazilian - strong personalities both.  I don't "take shit" from anyone - I was taught early in life that it didn't pay.  I've been described as a "lightning rod," and Cal also fits that description.  I enjoy interacting with him tremendously, and I think he adds a lot of life to this forum.  I have no problem with anyone here, but nor do I understand why other members have such a problem with Cal.



One of my problems with Calandale is that he has been personally attacking me and other people.  Maybe you haven't noticed this.

Also, he acts like he wants to dictate to everyone else how Intensity is run.  He comes up with wacky ideas that he can't possibly have thought through and he tries to cram them down everyone else's throats. 

We had a World Council that made decisions for Intensity and he ruined it for almost everyone else by spamming it with polls to implement his ideas. He started more than twice as many polls as anyone else.  It got to the point that several World Council members thought that the number of polls was completely out of control and they were sick to death of it.  Because of the excessive number of polls, Intensity became more about how to run Intensity than anything else, so we voted to turn over the running of the site back to Dunc and Odeon.  More than any other person here, Calandale killed the World Council, yet he refuses to accept any responsibility for this and he prefers to blame everyone else.

Offline Calandale

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1180 on: February 12, 2008, 01:07:23 AM »

One of my problems with Calandale is that he has been personally attacking me and other people.  Maybe you haven't noticed this.

Our definition of 'personal' differs. For you, it seems to mean
ANY attack upon someone. For me, I mean using personal
information to make attacks. I see a distinction, you do not.
I feel that 'tis fair to attack YOU (or anyone) for their actions
and posts. You feel that using one's personal life against them
(explaining why you hide so much of your own) is the same thing.
Quote
Also, he acts like he wants to dictate to everyone else how Intensity is run.  He comes up with wacky ideas that he can't possibly have thought through and he tries to cram them down everyone else's throats. 

Nah. I come up with wacky ideas and try to see if
they hold water.

Quote
We had a World Council that made decisions for Intensity and he ruined it for almost everyone else by spamming it with polls to implement his ideas. He started more than twice as many polls as anyone else.  It got to the point that several World Council members thought that the number of polls was completely out of control and they were sick to death of it.  Because of the excessive number of polls, Intensity became more about how to run Intensity than anything else, so we voted to turn over the running of the site back to Dunc and Odeon.  More than any other person here, Calandale killed the World Council, yet he refuses to accept any responsibility for this and he prefers to blame everyone else.

Many of those polls served an important purpose,
in safeguarding the membership from the excesses
of democracy. Others were mere ploys, to highlight
a point. A couple were specific changes. When it came
down to it, some of those who cared enough for democracy
to try and lay it down on firm ground were hounded away
by the same tactics you see used against me.

Offline Callaway

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1181 on: February 12, 2008, 01:59:03 AM »

One of my problems with Calandale is that he has been personally attacking me and other people.  Maybe you haven't noticed this.

Our definition of 'personal' differs. For you, it seems to mean
ANY attack upon someone. For me, I mean using personal
information to make attacks. I see a distinction, you do not.
I feel that 'tis fair to attack YOU (or anyone) for their actions
and posts. You feel that using one's personal life against them
(explaining why you hide so much of your own) is the same thing.

I see you personally attacking other people quite often, Calandale, but you seem to be unable to see that you are doing it.

You only seem to see it going one way.

You don't need a person's biography to personally attack them.

Generally, a personal attack is committed when a person substitutes abusive remarks for evidence when examining another person's claims or comments. It is considered a personal attack when a person starts referencing a supposed flaw or weakness in an individual's personality, beliefs, lifestyle, convictions or principles, and use it as a debate tactic or as a means of avoiding discussion of the relevance or truthfulness the person's statement.

Quote
Nah. I come up with wacky ideas and try to see if
they hold water.


Perhaps that is what you intend to do, but your method of testing them is to try to cram them down everyone else's throats.

Quote
Many of those polls served an important purpose,
in safeguarding the membership from the excesses
of democracy. Others were mere ploys, to highlight
a point.
A couple were specific changes. When it came
down to it, some of those who cared enough for democracy
to try and lay it down on firm ground were hounded away
by the same tactics you see used against me.

Maybe that was the way that you saw it, but almost everyone else saw it differently.

Perhaps you thought that you were "safeguarding the membership from the excesses of democracy;" however, it looked like you were trying to dictate rules to everyone else and limit their freedom to vote the way they wanted to on future issues by implementing lots of new laws that you created.  The polls that you call "mere ploys" looked like you were trying to manipulate other World Council members.

Also, no matter how many times you have posted, "When it came down to it, some of those who cared enough for democracy to try and lay it down on firm ground were hounded away by the same tactics you see used against me," you have never once backed up with facts your assertion that anyone was ever "hounded away," how it was supposed to have been done, or whether you are being "hounded away" yourself.  On the contrary, you insist that if you post here less frequently in the future, it will be completely because of your new job, not because of any supposed "hounding."  Perhaps these shadowy people you have claimed were "hounded away" had life changes that were more important to them than spending so much time posting here.





Offline Calandale

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1182 on: February 12, 2008, 03:09:14 AM »

I see you personally attacking other people quite often, Calandale, but you seem to be unable to see that you are doing it.

I know you do. We have very different definitions.
Of course, to you, yous is the ONLY one. And,
you fail to see any distinction between the
morality of bringing extraneous information
into your squabbles. Stuff which you choose
to NOT be attacked about, by not sharing.

Quote
You only seem to see it going one way.

No. I know damned well that I began this fight.
Brought it to a different level. You took it beyond
where my morals allow me to go, except when I
lose my cool far too much, as I did when making
my comment that QM was homophobic - something
he admitted, but was of no importance to the issue,
and was purely a twisted result of my frustration at
his personal attacks on me. I seem to remember making
a similar assault upon TM1, when I was getting sick of
him following me about, posting about my personal life,
where it did not apply. Perhaps, had you revealed such
of your own, I'd have disgraced myself there too - hell,
I did with lucifer, but hope that I retracted it, before anyone
saw what an ass I was being.
Quote
You don't need a person's biography to personally attack them.

Again, this is based upon the difference of our
meanings for the word.

Quote
Generally, a personal attack is committed when a person substitutes abusive remarks for evidence when examining another person's claims or comments. It is considered a personal attack when a person starts referencing a supposed flaw or weakness in an individual's personality, beliefs, lifestyle, convictions or principles, and use it as a debate tactic or as a means of avoiding discussion of the relevance or truthfulness the person's statement.

See? Your meaning is the ONLY one? Ok, if your principles,
effect the manner in which you are making site dependent
decisions, or in the manner in which you are actually arguing
or posting, they ARE fair game, IMO.

What 'personal attacks' have I made, by your criteria? I've questioned
your fighting tactics - clearly a matter which is limited to the site itself.
I've not even speculated that you are like this, IRL. I've attacked your
desire to hold onto power, but again, that is a site-related issue, and I've
not made any attempt to draw parallels to things in your real life. I've
definitely noted what I see as a close minded adherence to whatever
you've decided - decisions which are often made very early in a
discussion. (I wonder if I've ever seen you change your mind?) And,
I've noted the point at which your treatment of me took an extreme
about face - not over the style of my attacks, but over a disagreement
in ethics, which few others cared about. I'll add another observation: unlike
me, you dropped mentioning that disagreement, when you saw it was
gaining you no support - you are the consummate politician; I am not.
I fight on, even when it is merely gaining me enemies. Now, most would
probably see your attitude there as laudable, but I don't - I prefer my own
(of course  ::) )

Quote
Quote
Nah. I come up with wacky ideas and try to see if
they hold water.


Perhaps that is what you intend to do, but your method of testing them is to try to cram them down everyone else's throats.

No. My method was first to attempt just hacking the
idea about. I soon learned that the apathy here required
that, in order to get a discussion on the issues, one had
to actually put up a timed poll, and force people to think
about it. I don't think that there was a damned suggestion
that I made, which I was unwilling to be convinced that my
initial take was wrong. But, it got frustrating to see ideas
brought up, discussed briefly, without any real passion, and
then ignored.

Quote
Maybe that was the way that you saw it, but almost everyone else saw it differently.

You are better at arguing, even when wrong.
I grant you that.

Quote
Perhaps you thought that you were "safeguarding the membership from the excesses of democracy;" however, it looked like you were trying to dictate rules to everyone else and limit their freedom to vote the way they wanted to on future issues by implementing lots of new laws that you created.


Yes. That's exactly what safeguards are. Kinda like the
bill of rights. Rules to prevent the WC from abusing others.

Quote
The polls that you call "mere ploys" looked like you were trying to manipulate other World Council members.

Manipulate is an interesting, and not entirely inaccurate term.
Let's take the most egregious case - the dreaded fiat poll.
I made that poll merely to lay the foundation for arguing that
you were using exactly the type of absolute power which
that poll would bring into being, for the staff. An argument
which wouldn't have gotten anywhere, given your popularity
here, but might have come in handy to harp a bit. Imagine
my shock when your coterie voted in favor of admins
having the absolute right to do whatever they pleased. And
don't plea some confusion, that poll is clear as day, to anyone
who wasn't befuddled by your argument for passing it.

Quote
Also, no matter how many times you have posted, "When it came down to it, some of those who cared enough for democracy to try and lay it down on firm ground were hounded away by the same tactics you see used against me," you have never once backed up with facts your assertion that anyone was ever "hounded away," how it was supposed to have been done, or whether you are being "hounded away" yourself.  On the contrary, you insist that if you post here less frequently in the future, it will be completely because of your new job, not because of any supposed "hounding."  Perhaps these shadowy people you have claimed were "hounded away" had life changes that were more important to them than spending so much time posting here.

By hounded, I mean the pack mentality. By away,
I mean told to GTFO. Both have applied to me.
Both applied to Lit. Both applied to Scrap. I don't
know how many others have been so driven away
by constant abuse, by your little gang. And, of course,
one wants to seem stronger, so putting a good face on.
But, such a gang, picking off those who 'don't belong'
is going to effect decisions to leave. Indeed, in Lit's case,
it may well have contributed heavily to his meltdown and
targeting of the site - maybe worse. In Scrap's, whom you
like to claim was busy with his 60 hour weeks - well, he had
been busy before, yet found time for coming here; and he
wandered over to ZOMG, found that not to his liking, and
then proceeded to troll at WP a bit. So clearly, time wasn't
the only reason for his leaving. Nor, whatever I said, is it really
likely to be the case for me.

Now, this begins to bring the big, "so what?" I mean, this is
intensity, right? We're not nannying. Still, I guess I'm hoping that
those involved in such gang bullying remember what it was like
to be the target of such. Maybe remember that they vowed
never to be such. Hell, I have nothing against drag out fights,
but something tastes WRONG about everyone siding up with
whomever they like and dislike. Which is what seems to happen,
nearly every time. As though party, not ideas, is the real discriminating
factor. Oh, we will argue with those we like, but not at all in the
same manner.






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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1183 on: February 12, 2008, 04:25:00 AM »
I hope I haven't made it personal when you get on my tits, Calandale. I reserve the full GTFO treatment for people I hate (Ascan, Omega, HG - maybe one or two others; neither Scrap or Lit fell into this group btw). Speaking for myself I've no wish to see you leave the site, though shutting the fuck up occasionally would be nice. :P

Offline Calandale

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Re: Questions for Callaway
« Reply #1184 on: February 12, 2008, 04:36:13 AM »
I hope I haven't made it personal when you get on my tits, Calandale. I reserve the full GTFO treatment for people I hate (Ascan, Omega, HG - maybe one or two others; neither Scrap or Lit fell into this group btw). Speaking for myself I've no wish to see you leave the site, though shutting the fuck up occasionally would be nice. :P

I think I'm always aware of this.

Did you do my title?  :zoinks: