Let's talk about your most painful, acidic, breath-taking shits.
That's right. Each one of you experienced it at least once. The feeling that you are about to pass out from pain, or the sound of bones cracking as the monstrous boulder slides through your gut... I'll start.
Just a moment ago i've finished the most acidic shit ever.
While i was heading back home, i decided to buy myself a kebab. So as a hardcore guy that i am, i decided to take the hot sauce with it. The woman even warned me that this is HOT, not "hot".
But i didnt care.
Hell.
She was right. It was fucking hot.
So I come home, I take off my shoes, sit in my chair and begin to watch TV. Suddenly i felt an immense wave of heat run across my body.
And then it hit me. I didnt manage to get to the toilet. This was literally like someone stuck a grenade in my ass, it just exploded all over my pants. I couldnt hold it. So with the shit running down my leg, i reach the toilet, sit on it, and unload. But hold on, it doesnt want to come out. All that diarrhea that came out? it was just the beggining. After a few minutes, my ass started burning as if hell marched out of it. And it was hell, seriously.
I started shaking so badly, i didnt know what the fuck was going on. Suddenly it stopped and BAM, RIVERS OF SHIT COMING OUT OF MY ASS AT INTENSE SPEEDS. I didnt even hear the fart, it was damped by the sound of my shit colliding with the water. For a second there i felt like im shitting out niagara's falls.
For 10 minutes straight i've been shitting pure stomach acid it seems. The fucking moron I am, i looked in the bowl.
My fucking god. I started vomitting, instantly. Not in the toilet, all around the fucking place. There was shit and vomit everywhere. I've never seen such a vile sight in my entire life. After I was done i promptly passed out in a puddle of my own shit and vomit.
Next time i'll go with ketchup.
