Relationship massochist? she's never seemed in the least toxic to me. Venomous perhaps, but only when she bites people (who deserve it that is, and when that happens there is a very strong tendency for it to be absolutely hilarious. I'd LOVE to be watching when she lets loose at autism squeaks...hehe I've never been there, but I've heard <whispering voice> terreeble theengs < /whispering voice>), she seems good with kids, got a good heart. One of the people I'd most love to meet. Despotic isn't the word I'd use, she is just not the type to take shit. Likes cats..another good point. Cats are always a good point
Well not counting the crazy cat ladies that always seem to have more cats than floor.
And I've both known her to look out for people she cares about when they were in trouble (not my place to say what exactly, but helped her out once when one of her friends was in a potentially really bad situation) and she herself helped me out in a ways too, spotting my nasty piece of work former housemate/lodger for the sociopathic, psycho borderline hell-bitch she is.