What's green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree?A pool table.
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it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.
No one could care less about your body so put on your swimming costume and go and have a swim in the sea like every other beach eej in the area.