should you ask me something?

[Leto729]

it means SleepNow, in swedish thanks Parts.

renaeden why does it make you feel nervous?

i just moved to a cool new house, getting sky saturday. so back to TV watching for me. been without for a teeny while. how have you guys been doing?

That sounds nice.

I have recently gotten a new job, which is the same job I had been doing as a volunteer for over a year, riding the bus with my daughter and some other autistic children to two special schools for autistic children in a nearby city.

That is one way to get a job. 

[renaeden]

renaeden why does it make you feel nervous?

Last time I looked at a PM, GA wanted to know what it was about and I had to turn my screen so he couldn't see it.

i just moved to a cool new house, getting sky saturday. so back to TV watching for me. been without for a teeny while. how have you guys been doing?

Awesome. Don't watch too much tv, you still need to go outside and do stuff. 
Haven't been doing much except a university bridging course, hope to get into an undergraduate course next year.

[Callaway]

renaeden why does it make you feel nervous?

Last time I looked at a PM, GA wanted to know what it was about and I had to turn my screen so he couldn't see it.

Did you try this suggestion?

renaeden you said GA won't let you post about stuff in peace even PMs? tell him to fuck off and stop lurking behind your back until you have done what you need, you need your space too and privacy to talk about this.

[Leto729]

Just tell GA its none of His business it is I² stuff.

[renaeden]

He tells me that I don't share anything with him. I guess I am a private person but sometimes I don't think to talk about something I have thought of or something that has happened. I find it easier to talk to my mum, she is patient when I take a long time to explain things and is more interested in what I do. She nurtures me whereas GA does not. He is more concerned about himself at the moment. I am having some hormonal health issues and GA just wants to know about how transgender people take hormones to change sex or something.

I am worried about a lot of things and being told to stop worrying doesn't encourage me to open up about what I am worried about. Maybe I am too rigid in things, I like to think I am not but I probably am. Recently I had a bit of a meltdown in the shops and GA was embarrassed about it. It made me sad because I thought he would understand.

I probably shouldn't post this and I am taking over Milla's thread. Sorry Milla. But if I start a thread, GA will gravitate towards it. He doesn't read a lot of threads so I can hide some stuff within places.

[Leto729]

My Pearls of Wisdom for You and GA:

You must remember men manly live in the here and now.

 Men are made to think out problems as they come across them.

Sometimes they do things that are hard to understand.

They do though in their own way care for what the others thinks.


I know living life must be hard especially if both have AS in the end.


It is good that You have someone to talk to renaeden.

Nothing in wrong talking to Your mum.

She knows You the most and better than GA does and most likely will for along time to come.

Can You try to see it Your way and not worry about what GA think at the moment (transgender).

Just remember it is the way it is maybe with men with AS.

It maybe hard for Him to understand You and You to understand Him.

Their is in the end nothing wrong in that.

That is just being a human being in the end.

He and You are together for a reason.

Your Love of Each other will in the end understand each other in time given time.

You both have had a just short time yet together.

You both are still in the understanding phase for each other.

It may take  many years yet to understand each other

Time is time You both need.

You both will understand if given time to understand each other in the end.

Secrets here and there have made it here and there.

For that is Living Life.

Living it will be hard to understand each other in the end.

But not impossible  end time.

Give Him the needed time.

For You and Him will yet understand each other in the end of it all.

Do not be embarrassed by what You do or even by Him.

Just try to live Life for each other in the end only.

Know this nothing is perfect for that is living Life in the end.

I hope I have yet spoke words of wisdom for You both.

Care for each other and be each other to want to be each other.

For that is LIFE in the end Life.

Life can be hard to understand.

I know it is hard but You both yet will make it.

Given a chance.

[SovaNu]

Renaeden you gotta get GA to understand that it is not only ok for you to have a private existence and private thoughts and conversations, but it is NECESSARY for you and everybody to have that. we need some own space that we don't have to share with the ones closest to us. everyone needs that. GA is being unreasonable, he is hurting you without realizing but he has to realize how you are affected and give you space. i wanna have freekin word with him.

you can post all over my thread

also, you're not too rigid. what you need to be though is more pussywhippy. don't let GA have his way, if you want to have a panic attack in a store then go ahead and if you want to read a PM alone then you do that. people only take away your freedoms when you give them to them. i was always given freedoms by my parents so i took them and wanted more and more and more, and i went to the extreme in that a bit, and my mother went the other extreme, by giving me too much power. later in life she noticed that by putting her foot down i actually backed down because my power isn't real power, it's the power that she gives me. she can take it back when she wants to. and if GA has power, it's not real and you can take it back. he can't really keep you from having private conversations. don't let him keep you. just tell him it is private and that is that.

That sounds nice.

I have recently gotten a new job, which is the same job I had been doing as a volunteer for over a year, riding the bus with my daughter and some other autistic children to two special schools for autistic children in a nearby city.

that sounds nice too, you actually get paid for it?

[Callaway]

That sounds nice.

I have recently gotten a new job, which is the same job I had been doing as a volunteer for over a year, riding the bus with my daughter and some other autistic children to two special schools for autistic children in a nearby city.

that sounds nice too, you actually get paid for it?

I haven't gotten any money yet, but I expect to be paid at the end of this month.  I started riding the bus as a volunteer last year when it was just my daughter because the transportation department wanted her to wear a harness on the bus and both my husband and I strongly did not want her to be restrained like that.  So I offered to ride the bus with her instead.  They did not realize that attempting to strap her down would just cause more problems and that having me there would be much more effective, but they agreed, provided I agreed to strap her down with their harness if she misbehaved in such a way that the bus driver thought it became necessary for safety to do so.  Then I worked to build a rapport with the bus drivers so they could see the wonderful child my daughter is over 95% of the time and hopefully become a little more tolerant of the 5% of the time she was not so wonderful. 

Building a rapport was hard for me, and I did not really succeed with the first driver, because she tattled on my daughter for every little thing she did on the ride at first, so I was called onto the carpet.  My husband and I fought back hard, and demanded to see every little scrap of paper she had written about our daughter because what we were hearing in the meeting was slanted and distorted.  They did not kick my daughter off the bus and after that meeting if the driver tattled on my daughter again I did not hear about it because I was not called onto the carpet again for a long time.  They changed drivers in the summer and then again the next school year and I worked even harder on building a rapport with them.

When they added another little girl who attended a different autism school to our bus, I looked after her too.  I was called onto the carpet again in a meeting near the beginning of the summer after another change of drivers because my daughter misbehaved a few times on the bus.  I thought that they intended to kick my daughter off the bus so I told them some of the things that the other little girl had done and that they would need to hire someone to look after the other little girl if they kicked my daughter off the bus, while they had been getting my services looking after both children for free.  One of the people in the meeting, the woman who has just been put in charge of special education for the school district, decided to hire someone to look after all the children since they were adding two teenage boys to the bus this school year.  So I decided to apply for the job based on my volunteer experience.  It was a good argument, so I got the job.

Sorry, I did not intend to write a book about my new job in your ask away thread.  I think that you and Kevv both gave good advice.

[renaeden]

You don't post much about yourself, Callaway, so I enjoyed reading that. Thanks.

[SovaNu]

that's great Callaway.  well done. they *should* have someone looking after the kids on the bus anyway so good that happened.

[Pyraxis]

He tells me that I don't share anything with him. I guess I am a private person but sometimes I don't think to talk about something I have thought of or something that has happened.

It's hard when one person wants attention more than the other.

Maybe GA should directly ask you how you're doing more often, instead of stalking your posts and actions. Maybe you should try to get in the habit of volunteering information more often. That way you can choose what to tell him, so you don't have to share private things, and he can still feel closer to you.

[Tristeza]

Hi, Ren.  I haven't posted here in awhile.  I've missed you. 

I think Milla & Pyraxis have given you good advice.  Try not to feel guilty over the way in which you react to certain situations.  Public meltdowns happen to everyone at some point, no matter what their neurological wiring.

I'm very different from you when it comes to communicating what I'm thinking or feeling.  I don't have much of a verbal filter.  I've always offered up way too much information to my husband (and to people in general), and sometimes that comes back to hurt me.  All I can say is that we both need to find a way of choosing what to reveal and what to conceal, without changing our personalities.  I don't know a particular way to learn this skill, other than by trial and error.  I wish I could offer you some advice, but I'm working on this same problem from the opposite angle. 

Anyway, good luck.

[driftingblizzard]

am i here to answer?

are you MillaPill?

[SovaNu]

i am many things :nerd:

[odeon]

am i here to answer?

are you MillaPill?

It's Milla, yes.