thanks for the info, Eclair.
i'll check them out.
I wish I could help but I don't know how to. I hope you don't give up on yourself. I don't know you that well, if I were there I could probably help. I hate being far away. People here on Intensity are becoming better friends than real life ones.
I feel you are stuck in a rut. Your family is not helping? A positive change in your life would be good, something different that you like, a change you make for yourself. And you don't have to go without tv.
yeah i'm in a rut, but as an aspie i like my rut.
even though it is ... well, it's got its problem areas. like feeling like i'm in a prison. even more though i'm afraid of any changes to this rut, i need to control my surroundings. i'm so high strung with this OCD, i mean i appear calm and i am, but if anything changes i crumble. i'm like a house of cards. just waiting for the fall. i have no foundation.
i'm in a holding pattern, so changes i would make for myself... i see no point in anything. like buying new DVDs or starting to paint or anything, i know it'll just go down when the bottom falls out and there'll be more to lose. it's like i'm afraid to move. can't do anything new or i'll wake the beast. i dunno what the beast is, other than my fucked up mind. i think maybe i need to go on anti-psychotics. they would zombify but maybe i would be safer. i dunno. i'm just tired of being scared. prolly need to see a shrink to get zombie pills.
don't worry about me though, there's nothing you could do even if you were here. but thanks for caring.