torture's not so bad today.
dehydrated from yesterday and when i got hydrated started running to the wc again. slept all day so far and haven't eaten more than breakfast. yesterday i didn't have any meal at all, just a leftover salad in my room. to make matters worse my egg had two yolks which for some reason really wierded me out.
i was hallucinating a little (lack of sleep, i think) before i started and still hallucinating thinking people are walking by me.
sugar cravings too - but the candy gave me a bad stomach ache and everything tasted like chemicals.
my brain is telling me i could taper off myself.
i am not calling the doctor because i plan on hoarding what i have in the event i break something else before i get hooked up with a doc in florida. i have brittle bones all over. when the doc sees me coming he writes a script for pain meds instead of making the sign of the cross.
you should have seen them when i broke my sternum: 80mg oxycontin three times a day plus a dilaudid drip of 1 mg every 15 minutes. the nurses were pushing the button so often i had to get the doc to make them stop.
my sternum still hurts because its in two pieces and sometimes they rub, but i think i can get them to give me oxycodone for that. naproxen works better but i am not allowed to take it because i had kidney failure.