How come PMS Elle hasn't jumped on this thread? Is that your Website Elle?
This is the first I'm seeing the thread- I was trying to sleep by the time it got posted. I may be awesome but I'm not omnipresent!
Browsing through the 'nice guy,' section I especially like this article: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/notniceguys.shtml
My own little rant as to why, yes, guys can be "too nice" for me (I felt inspired, lol):
I don't want to be treated like shit- I want to be treated well. I just would like to be treated well by a guy who can hang out with my friends on Saturday night making absolutely vile jokes about everything you're not supposed to laugh at and be able to keep up with it. The last time a new person started hanging out with us, we actually had to ask her if she would be offended by the plethora of abortion jokes we tend to make. If a guy has a totally gentlemanly manner, a safe sense of humor, and avoids profanity, he'll bore me, and I'll never really connect to him. I want a guy who's kind, but who can tell the difference bwteen verbal abuse (bad) and playfully insulting someone using colorful language (good). I want a guy who's loving, caring and affectionate, but I don't want to be with someone who I would worry about completely destroying if I ended the relationship. Hurting is a given where breakups are concerned if it comes to that and I get that, but I don't want to be the be-all end-all of someone's existence because that's just too freakin' much pressure, and it's also not a favor I'll return- the farthest I'll go is a deep, caring love and the desire to continue. None of that soulmate bullshit.
Something interesting I've noticed happen repeatedly is that guys often get more interesting after I've shot them down but am still on friendly terms- and it's not because they're suddenly 'forbidden fruit' (it was ME that set the limit, not them). It's because once they stop trying to impress me, guys start acting like themselves- and guys are almost never totally polite and decorous. Guys often seem to have a much better handle on treating their friends well, having fun with them, and being comfortable with them-
without feeling the need to chuck their personalities in order to do so- than they do women they're tyring to impress. Personally I think the best romantic love has a basis in friendship, and the best friendships are grounded in trust, understanding, honesty, caring, and (in the case of my friends) occasional death threats.