Nebraska- Child Safe Haven

[El]

Nebraska has been in the news lately for having a baby safe haven law that technically includes anyone under 18; therefore parents are abaondoning their kids.

What pisses me off is that there are people who are saying that the law should be changed because parents shouldn't abandon their kids.

Umm... OK, yes, by all means, keep those families together.  The types of parents who would abandon their kids as soon as it became legal to do so deserve to be punished by being forced to keep the kids.  I see no problem whatsoever with 'the best interest of the child' in that logic whatsoever.   

And that really seems to be the logic, too.  Believe me, I know that the foster care/temporary care system in the U.S. isn't perfect (read: horribly, horribly, horribly flawed), but I also feel that it's better to be in it than to be in an unsafe home.  What is especially upsetting to policymakers is that this is bringing just how badly the system fails kids into light.  I mean, sure, if you're not in a place to parent your kids, you know it, and you want what's best for them, you COULD seek out-of-home placement for your kids in a U.S. state outside of Massachusetts- if you gave them a black eye or starved them, or otherwise created an obvious, unambiguous, and unignorable problem.  Other than that, you have to be really fuckin' savvy, really fuckin' lucky, or you're really fuckin' fucked.

I will admit I picked a particularly retardedly written article to illustrate the stupidest points that make me the angriest (ex: "Abandonment scars older children for the rest of their lives, he says, because they think it's their fault"- well, uh, I think the kids in question would probably know something was fucked up in their life if they stayed, too, you dumb asshole) and it seems like more and more articles at least touch on the idea that maybe these kids would be safer elsewhere.

[Callaway]

I think that the one dad who made the news for abandoning his nine children lost his wife, then his job, then he fell apart and he just did not know which way to turn.

Gary Staton left nine of his 10 children, ages 1 to 17, last week. The oldest, 18, was not covered by the law. Staton told Omaha TV station KETV that after his wife died early last year and he lost his job, "I fell apart. I couldn't take care of them."

His children are living with two relatives who live near each other, says Todd Landry of the state Department of Health and Human Services.

I see your point that the kids are much better off with their relatives rather than with their apparently severely depressed dad and they would probably even be better off in foster care if he can't get himself together.

Here is another sad thing.  Some parents have tried for years to get Medicaid to pay for appropriate mental health care help for their children but are unsuccessful until there is a major crisis or they abandon their children to foster care.

I know one dad who called the police and pressed charges against his bipolar adopted son when he threw a rock through a picture window in their home just so he could finally get the help that Medicaid had refused and the parents could not afford to pay for themselves because their savings were exhausted.  The son got Medicaid when they adopted him, but their jobs did not have health insurance.

When the dad explained the son's history to the judge, the judge ordered the mental health care help and then Medicaid paid for it, but the price is that now the son has a juvenile criminal record.

[Alex179]

Depends on the specific situation.   It is a no-win situation in a lot of cases.

[El]

I think that the one dad who made the news for abandoning his nine children lost his wife, then his job, then he fell apart and he just did not know which way to turn.

Gary Staton left nine of his 10 children, ages 1 to 17, last week. The oldest, 18, was not covered by the law. Staton told Omaha TV station KETV that after his wife died early last year and he lost his job, "I fell apart. I couldn't take care of them."

His children are living with two relatives who live near each other, says Todd Landry of the state Department of Health and Human Services.

I will point out that the relatives are all his inlaws.  They are certainly being nice now that they're in the public spotlight- who knows what they were like before.  At any rate, there were other systemic epic fails just in this one case alone already, too.

Depends on the specific situation.   It is a no-win situation in a lot of cases.

I agree; but if in some cases the child safe haven law IS potentially better and in others it's a no-win, it would still come out better to have them than not.

[Alex179]

Yeah I would hope it would end up better.   Children getting abandoned is never good, but same goes for children stuck with terrible parents.

[Parts]

I have personal experience with my sons friend for him there is nothing at 16  foster  care is nearly non existent they have already told us they have nowhere for him to go.  We are going to court with his parents this month they want custody to stay the same as it is now with them receiving benefits for him  but not taking care of him.  The state wants a permanent solution.  He has no relatives who will take him in that are not fucked up we have gone as far as telling the state we would be foster parents and get in the system to keep him safe.  He has a little brother and sister who are 4-6 who the state is going to take in a month or so and be put in foster care.  All I am saying is there are so many no win situations as it is the safe haven law is better than nothing but more has to be done and the foster system made better for the kids. Our home is the most stable place he has ever lived  More people just should not have kids offer free fixing if you know what I mean.  Don't make kids stay where they are not wanted it makes everyone miserable. kids need safe stable places to grow. With the law there its better than nothing but I think if you abandon any of your kids it should come with a free sterilization.   BTW the kid with us says his mom thinks she is preggers again and not with her husband    

[El]

Parts, I continue to be amazed by how readily and enthusiastically you took that kid in; I think one of the kindest things you can do for another is to actually take them in when they have noplace to go.

I absolutely agree; the foster care/respite care system is fucked, as are so very very many systems that could help kids who could be abandoned.  If more states had a more inclusive safe haven law like nebraska, some of the problems might come more to light and become less easy to ignore.